Thursday, September 5, 2013

Open Doors

Tonight I wrote my first letter to my sweet baby. At the moment I am crying and so giddy. Someday my child will read that letter and know that, already, I love this child more than words can possibly even express. Nothing will ever change that - no matter how long I wait until he/she is finally placed in my anxious arms.

This week I have been blown away by a range of emotions... So many moments that were more difficult than words can even begin to express. And yet just as many moments where I fell on my knees thanking the Lord for his perfect timing.

You see, adoption is a slow process. It doesn't move quickly and rightfully so, I suppose. But the Lord is blowing open doors and moving us forward quicker than we ever thought possible.

I will continue to chuckle to myself when I think about all the calls that I made to home study agencies this week to get the normal information. The conversation would typically go as follows:

"Hi! My husband and I are beginning the process of a domestic infant adoption and we are looking for an agency to help us complete our home study. Could you tell me a little bit more about your program?" They would tell me fees, process, etc. To which I would respond, "Great! And how long does the process usually take from start to finish" " usually takes about 4-6 months to complete ma'am." "And how long does it take if we are a really motivated couple?" "{chuckle on the other end of the line} If you're really motivated you can probably be done in 12 weeks."

If you couldn't tell...I'm motivated. I don't want to dilly dally around when it means being one step closer to being matched with our baby!

But I was still expecting to have to wait a good amount of time before we really got to do anything to get moving. Boy was I wrong! Yesterday (Wednesday) I called the agency that we want to use to complete our home study. I told her we were ready to begin. She told me that we had great timing because as a part of the home study, the adoptive family has to attend training classes that they do once a quarter. If we were really ready to begin the training classes start this upcoming Monday! That's only 5 days away! This was music to my ears!

One foot in front of other...I am well aware that this is going to be a long journey full of a lot of waiting. And I'm not really a patient person (Yep, God and I are already talking about that). But as long as we're moving in the direction and taking steps.

Even just a little step like signing up for training classes next week (YAY) is a good step forward for me. Jarrod and I were both thrilled!

Yet on that same day we received word that we had been approved for a grant that would cover all the initial expenses of the adoption -- application fees and our home study. Oh my gosh! God is SO good! Finances are a huge part of this journey and already God has provided for us. I'm blown away!! We still have a lot of money before we can get matched to our baby so this is small step but it's an amazing step! (That being said, if you are reading this and would like to consider helping us financially, we would SO appreciate it! You can make a donation by clicking on the 'Donate' button on the blog sidebar or click on the fundraisers tab to learn about events we might be having or other little ways you can make a difference -- believe me, even $5 makes the biggest difference).

I am learning that if, as Christ-followers, we confidently move in the direction that God has led us to, He will open doors. He will provide. He will give peace. He will conquer!

I realize that I am rambling but it has been a crazy week. So many ups and so many downs. Yet one thing is constant - our God is good. I'll say it again and again because he has given me so much peace. He is in control. He will bring our baby home. :)

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