Monday, December 30, 2013

Soon Enough

Only 16 more days until.....we are officially licensed and home study ready!

Oh how I have waited so long to write that! When we started this process, we expected to be licensed by Thanksgiving... Now, it's hard to believe that it's been over four months since we first started our adoption journey and now, just one day shy of 5 months, we will officially be licensed and ready to really begin the waiting game. And although that length of time used to irritate me I trust that God knows exactly when we need to be licensed by and that He has a plan for the waiting to begin exactly when it does.

Yep....the waiting really begins in 16 days. Oh, yes, more waiting.

On the bright side, work will be keeping me incredibly busy over the next few months and, in the down time that I do have, I'll be busy frantically completing agency and grant applications to what seems like hundreds of places. And these applications really take some time...But just being able to do something will make me feel like we are making progress again.

Preparing our home for our home study has been a little surreal for me... You see, when Jarrod and I first moved into our cute little home, we 'set aside' a room right away to be our eventual nursery. For what seemed like too many months, the room was just a storage room - where all the 'extras' in our house got stashed until we could figure out what to do with them. It became the ironing room, the winter coat storage closet, and the occasional room to set up an air mattress in when we would have friends visit. However, neither Jarrod or I quite expected for the room to sit as empty as it did for as long as it did. But, regardless of what we had planned, God had a different idea altogether. So...the room sat empty and unused.

Until this weekend...

This weekend, we cleared it out, organized the closet, rid of the floor of the 'extras' and began to prepare it to be 'inspected.' Now, we don't have to have a nursery ready to our home visit but Jarrod and I had decided long ago that we would start slowly getting the nursery together when our home study was finished so that we would be ready no matter when our baby decides to officially join our family. So we bought an area rug, put up a shelving unit that already holds a few children's books, many stuffed animals and a few baby blankets that have already been gifted to us in anticipation for our child. All of these already makes my heart bubble over with joy to see these little elements that will be a part of our life with baby. But then....we were given a crib for Christmas and a rocking chair. Although neither of these pieces have arrived at our home yet, nor are there any decorations on the wall or toys in the toy box, knowing that these items will adorn that cozy room soon enough fills me with such joy and excitement.

Currently I can't stop just walking into that room and laying down on the carpet while my sweet little doxies cuddle up next to me. And then I just spend a little time laying on the floor praying for my sweet baby - whoever he or she may be. And then I pray for whoever the birthparents are of this sweet child. I pray for whatever situation they might be in or the difficulty in coming to the decision that they are making. I pray for peace over them. I pray for both mine and Jarrod's hearts in this waiting - that we can confidently trust that God has all the details worked out already and trust that He will bring our baby to us at the right time.

Although there's no colorful quilt, no scent of wipes, no soft lullaby music playing, or no sound of a little child breathing right now, I can relax and rejoice in that room knowing that, in God's time, that room will be a nursery.... in God's time, it will be filled with wipes and diapers and sweet music.... in God's time, I'll sit in that very room while rocking my baby to sleep remembering what it was like to simply dream about that moment.... in God's time, a child will be in that room and call us mom and dad. Praise the Lord for his timing right?

Sometimes, I think God just looks down at me in my anxious waiting and says, "Trust me child. Soon enough..."

And I know that His promise of 'soon enough' will be more than enough.

1 comment:

  1. I always enjoy your posts and once again you have echoed my heart.

    ReplyDelete