I've been mulling over my ability to be patient during these weeks remain until our daughter is born. I'm a firm believer that sometimes God calls his children to dwell in uncomfortable situations (waiting being one of them) and that although allowing ourselves to be content with dissonant circumstances is incredibly difficult, sometimes God creates the most beautiful things from it. I was just telling someone this yesterday and realized that I wasn't doing a great job at practicing what I preach.
All I seem to do lately...or really for the past year...is dream about what's to come: when we get matched, when our baby is born, when she's legally ours, when we bring her home from the hospital, when we fly home to Illinois with her, and on and on. I've been living my life in the future dreaming of what the Lord holds for our little family then.
But I'm failing ask Him what He has for us NOW in this time of waiting.
I've been failing to seek God's guidance in the present.
Although I feel as though my heart has learned so much throughout our adoption process, when was the last time that I truly asked God what He wants of me right now. I know that His plan for us moving forward is to care for this baby girl and this specific birth family that we get to be in relationship with. But what if there's something that God is trying to teach me right now in this season of waiting?
I'm starting an eight-week study today by Naptime Diaries about Abiding in the Lord. And in order to truly allow my spirit to Abide in Him, I have to hinder my heart from abiding in the future, however exciting the future may be.
John 15:5, 8 ESV reads, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing...By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples."
Simply put, my ability to allow God to be glorified in this adoption process depends directly on my willingness to abide in Him, rather than my future plans for our little family-to-be.
Joyce Meyers says it well: "Patience is not the ability to wait but how you act while you're waiting."
How am I choosing to act in this waiting? Am I letting God move in my life or am I hindering His glory because I'm too focused on my plans of what's to come?
Just some thoughts to ponder on this Monday morning.