Friday, June 20, 2014

Fight For Me

At the very beginning of our process, I remember a fellow adoptive mama saying to me (probably in response to my complaints of the adoption process), "You will learn early to fight for your child before they're even here or before you know who they are." That couldn't have been any more true.

Adoption has taught me, time and time again, that, although my baby girl is thousands of miles me from at this very instant, that I have to fight for her every single day until she's home safe in my arms.

We've had to fight ever step of the adoption process to be proven worthy, stable parents.
We've had to fight to be taken seriously in our adoption.
We've had to fight for our daughter to be viewed as fully ours. 
We've had to fight for our social worker to 'get a move' on things. 
We've had to fight to educate. 
We've had to fight to find (and trust God for) the finances.
We've had to fight for stereotypes.
We've had to fight our emotions - both in the good and the frustrating times.
...This list could really just keep going...

When I say we've had to 'fight,' of course I don't mean a physical brawl of any sort. Instead, I just mean that it's an uphill battle every single step of the way. Even the procedures that you think should just be so black & white are an uphill battle. In the adoption world those "should-be simple" things are totally gray.

This week, I sat at my kitchen table, spending some time in God's presence before beginning my day. I was reflecting on some of the things that had come up in our adoption that were difficult to handle. They weren't difficult because they were bad. Just difficult because it required more fighting and perseverance. And quite frankly, although I'm so excited for baby girl to get here...I'm also so incredibly tired of fighting for what seems like every little thing. My devotional that morning asked a very pointed question:

"As believers, we sometimes shy away from asking God to meet our physical meets or outward needs. Is there something that would drastically help you abide or remain if God provided it? Ask Him. Hope doesn't disappoint and our hope is in Him. He may not always answer affirmatively, but He never begrudges 
us for treating Him like the Father He is."

One thing came to my mind because I knew that I couldn't be the one fighting for this anymore. I just prayed over and over again, "God, I need you to handle this because I can't." I placed it in God's hands, committed that I would not pick it back up and try to handle it on my own. Just a few hours later, the exact thing that I prayed for God to handle had been taken care of...totally & completely.

It reminds me of Exodus 14:14 (although totally out of context):

My devotional, as well as this verse, force me to stop and ask the question, "Why am I fighting in the first place?" In those moments I'm reminded that I have to stop fighting. Not because this isn't worth the fight or because the situation doesn't merit a fight, but simply because I'm not the one who has to worry about these battles. 

Ultimately God is fighting for me, alongside of me, strengthening me, every step of the way. And you know what's even cooler (yes...I know that's not a word)...

He's not fighting for just me, He's fighting for our baby too

What am I worried about?! God's got this!

What is it today that you're fighting for? What battles are there that you need to let God fight for you? Bring those to Him. Trust me...the weight of not having to fight anymore is well worth it!

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