Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Another Year & 3 Months Old

Yesterday was my birthday. In the midst of celebrating yesterday I logged onto my Timehop app and found this photo with the posted comment:

10/14/13 "Celebrated my birthday tonight by turning in
mountains of adoption paperwork at our final training class. It
felt so good. Now it's in God's hands & we trust him to guide
us through the Home Study process."

And as I looked at that photo, I reflected back on what that time felt like for us: so triumphant in completing such a large amount of paperwork and starting the journey toward our child yet so defeating in the change of 'plans' that for our lives that we were enduring... It was a beautiful, yet heartbreaking time. Not that we weren't excited to adopt but we were hurting from the pain of our infertility. No matter when you plan to adopt in your marriage, infertility hurts.

Yesterday, as I reflected on this photo and on that evening 1 year ago, I looked down at my child and wrote the below post:

10/14/14 "Last year at I spent my birthday at our final adoption
training class, wishing and praying that that would be
my last birthday without a little one. How beautiful to look
back today and now look at my precious daughter in
my arms. What a long year it has been - I've encountered
and struggled through things that I never expected for my life.
Yet, as always, God's plans were so much better than my own!
This little bundle is the best birthday present anyone
could ever ask for!
#blessed #happybirthdaytome "

What a difference a year makes.... right?

I've been so struck by this over the past 24 hours. At this time last year, I still had nights where I cried myself to sleep. Afraid that no birth mother would deem us 'worthy enough' to care for her child. Afraid that my life looked different that I thought it would when I turned 25. Afraid of so much. And although, as I enter my 26th year of life, fear in my life is still alive and well, I get to look at a constant reminder of God's faithfulness every morning.

And as if celebrating my birthday and getting to reflect on the past year wasn't humbling enough, my little munchkin turned 3 months old today! Seriously...I feel like I just put up the post for her 2 month old pictures. Time really does fly, huh?

In the past month Madi has...
  • Gained some cute baby chub rolls and transitioned into 3 month clothing
  • Found her voice (loud squeals and all)
  • Learned to smile whenever you come get her out of her crib in the morning (she's so happy that someone's there to say good morning)
  • Started to grab and swat at things
  • Gained a lot of strength during tummy time, sitting and standing up (with mommy's help of course)
  • Continued to pull on our heart strings and make us fall more and more in love with her

And speaking of what a difference a year makes? Look at the difference between months one, two and three!!

Amazing how time changes everything...Whether it's physical growth in this little peanut or emotional and spiritual growth provided through the trials of life. Our God is good and greater! Here's to another year and another month in the books for our little Madi girl!

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