Nowadays...I sit down to write and my brain goes numb. I can't think eloquent thoughts or type pretty words to describe life. I'm tired. By the time, I can actually take some alone time to myself, my eyes are burning and I'm just ready to tune out to an episode of Friends before falling back onto my *not-so-fluffy-anymore* pillow.
Life is wearing, isn't it?
I'm no rocket scientist for claiming this. Anyone who has any understanding of life and the weight that it carries can grasp this concept.
I started back at work full time over a month ago now. When I walk into my workplace in the morning, I'm usually only thinking of one simple thing. Coffee.
My day doesn't start without coffee. It fills my tank. It gets my blood pumping. It kick starts my weary brain to focus and begin plowing through my emails and the surprises that the day may bring. In many ways (maybe not the healthiest), I heavily rely on coffee.
As I pour my coffee every morning, relying on it to take away the headache or rid my eyes of the sleepy sting, I feel as though the Lord's been whispering to me. "You need more of me to start your day. This is not the place to find your jumpstart."
I've brushed it off. When will I possibly have time to read my Bible? I've got a child to take care of, a job to get done, a house to clean, meals to make ... blah, blah, blah.
It's easy for me to ignore these whisperings when life is going according to plan or when a day functions 'normally.' But then the heavy things begin to creep their way into our days and we wonder how we will deal with the weight. Life gets wearing. We get tired.
And the whispers and gentle nudges begin again: "The coffee isn't strong enough to break through the burdens. I am."
The last few weeks God's been gently placing reminders of his truth and his grace in my life. He's been instilling in my heart that, instead of coffee, I need a whole lot more of Jesus in my daily life and routine to allow me to continue to function and bring Him glory.
As the popular saying goes, "All I need is a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus." How true is this?
When I'm truly ridding myself of me and digging into Him, I'm more equipped to handle what my day brings. I can love others better. I can be a source of truth and I can speak truth to myself in moments of weakness. I can be a better wife and mom. My cup can overflow with so much more than coffee.
I'm not perfect when it comes to seeking the Lord first in my life. It's a constant commitment and goal to strive. It's a ongoing confession of "Lord I need you more and more in my life. Guide me today." However, as I continue to lay down myself and seek after Him, I can learn to rely on Him first rather than my coffee.
Okay and since I'm so awful at posting on my blog, I completely missed Madison's 6 month photo. Here's her 7 month update: